The Promised Land
by ChichiriChan86
Summary: The war is over, but the battle to live has just begun. The crew of the Normandy is stranded on an unexplored planet near earth, with no way to return home. They discover a few refugee shuttles who have found themselves in the same situation. One of the those refugee shuttle have made a discovery though. Some "sensitive cargo" that could change everything.
1. Special Cargo

_**A/N: This is my first attempt at a Mass Effect fanfic. The story will take place after Mass Effect 3, but will flashback to Mass Effect 1-3. Some of the flashbacks will not be things that happened in the game, but they will follow the storyline. My original idea was a Shenko because I romanced Kaidan in all three games, but that was a mistake. I realized Garrus was a much better fit. But, if you're a Shenko fan speak up, I don't mind mixing things up a little and writing a Shenko. I don't really want this to be an AU, so I will try to keep it as close as possible. **_

_**I did not use the Gen Shepard, nor did I use the Gen Shepard name Jane. So the references to her looks will be from the Shepard I used in my game. If this bothers you, I apologize. You may picture her to be however you want her to be. The name and the looks do not define the story. So please give this a shot.**_

* * *

After Commander Shepard chose synthesis on the Citadel, peace was spread throughout the galaxy to organics and synthetics alike. The war was over, but the battle was just beginning. Even with the reaper's help to rebuild; colonies, cities, planets still laid in ruins. The council was forced to live with the decisions they made four years before. They chose to ignore Shepard's warning; they now had to watch their own people try to pull their lives back together.

After the synthesis, the Normandy crashed on an unexplored planet near earth. The atmosphere was identical to that of Earth, but it was completely organic. No synthetics, computers, no technology except what was on the ships that landed there. After a short exploration of the area surrounding their ship, they located two shuttles carrying a handful of refugees who were forced to land there. It had been only three days since the incident, and the crew was trying to make the best of it. They knew they weren't going to be leaving for a while, so they tried to make themselves at home.

_"And if I'm up there in that bar and you're not…I'll be looking down. You'll never be alone."_

Her final words to him were now just whispers that filled his head as he sat along the water's edge. He stared up at Earth, though it appeared so close there in the sky, he knew they weren't going to see it anytime soon. He knew he would probably never see Palaven again. He replayed his last moments with her over and over in his head. He wished he could have held here there in that spot with him, never let her go. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"I've never felt so alone Shepard." The sound of footsteps behind him broke his solitary moment. He opened his eyes and turned his head to see Joker standing there. "Though for someone who feels as alone as I do, I certainly can't get a few moments to myself around here."

"It was a long walk from the ship…so I'm just going to assume it's ok that I sit with you, I'm not actually going to ask." He carefully sat down on the ground next to him and looked up at the sky. "It's strange to think we were just there a few days ago huh?" He reached his hand up, "It's like we can almost touch it." He leaned back on his hands, "I wonder what's happening there. I know they are probably trying to rebuild after the war, but…you can only do so much. You can't get back the lives you lost…" he stopped and quickly looked at Garrus, "Sorry. Damn, I told Liara and Tali I wasn't any good at this, but they insisted. Well I made it almost five seconds before saying anything stupid."

Garrus forced a chuckle and shook his head, "It's the thought that counts I guess." He leaned back on his hands too and watched the water. "What are the odds they ended up like us?"

"Hmm, you mean stranded on a planet with a handful of humans and very few other species? Well, it'll make repopulation nearly impossible," he shrugged.

"Says the man with an AI girlfriend," Garrus said quickly, shooting him a look.

Joker laughed a little, "Alright, I'll give you that one. Though I guess the Asari would be ok huh?" There was silence for a moment as he thought about what he was going to say next. "I know…Shepard made the ultimate sacrifice for everyone…but…if it wasn't for her," he sat up and looked at Garrus now, "EDI is alive now because of her. I just wish…she were here to see her." Garrus didn't look at him, nor did he say anything to him. Joker sighed a little, "Sorry, I guess it's too soon. I just…I just wanted…" he stopped and threw a rock in the water. "Sorry."

There was silence for a moment before Garrus got to his feet and brushed himself off, "We should head back."

"Yeah, Tali and EDI think they are on the verge of restoring power to the Normandy." He slowly got to his feet and brushed himself off. "At least now we'll be able to take hot showers. Not that I care, but I'm tired of hearing some of the women whine about bathing in the cold creek."

"They probably wouldn't mind so much if James would stop offering to help warm them up," Garrus joked, trying to lighten up the awkwardness between them.

"Good point," Joker forced a small laugh, still feeling a little tension. He started back toward the Normandy, but stopped when he realized Garrus wasn't behind him. He turned around, "You coming?"

Garrus took one last long look at Earth, "Yeah…yeah I'm coming."

* * *

"Alright, everyone get ready. This is it," Tali announced, stepping back from the open panel. "If this doesn't work, so help me I will forfeit being a Quarian. I have spent my entire life on a ship, if I cannot make the lights turn on…" she trailed off, shaking her head.

Joker and Garrus approached the ship just in time to see the show. Everyone gathered around Tali, their fingers crossed.

"Come on Tali," Joker mumbled, rubbing his hands together, "Hot food, cool rooms, lights that turn on so I'll stop tripping on that Damn stair every time I exit the ship."

Everyone watched closely, praying that Tali had fixed it. Garrus seemed distracted though, not really paying attention to what was going on. In the distance he spotted something odd and started walking in that direction.

"Three, two, one," Tali counted down before hitting the switch. The Normandy hummed for a moment before all the lights came on, "Oh Keelah! It worked!"

Everyone cheered, this was the best news they'd had in days. They needed this moment; they needed this one simple thing to celebrate. Joker looked over to where Garrus had been standing and he wasn't there. He looked around a little and saw him standing on the other side of the clearing, watching something.

"Garrus?" He started toward him.

He watched him as he made his way across the clearing. Suddenly Garrus turned around and started running toward the Normandy.

"Fire!" he yelled, running past Joker.

Joker turned around and followed him as fast as he could move, "Fire? What fire?"

Garrus reached the ship, "There's a wall of black smoke off in the distance. It a few miles out, but I think we need to check it out."

It took everyone a moment to even realize he was talking, but when they did they started to panic. They looked around at each other, waiting to see who would step up to guide them.

"Cortez!" Ashely yelled as she stepped out of the ship, "How are those shuttle repairs going?" she asked, walking toward Garrus.

"I've finished up the repairs on both of the refugee shuttles. All they need now is a test run."

"Now is as good a time as any to give them one."

Cortez nodded, "Yes Ma'am."

"I'll go with him," James called to her before running behind Cortez to the back of the ship.

"Where did you see it Garrus?" she asked, looking off in the direction he had come from to see if she could see it.

He pointed back across the clearing, "That way. Like I said, it's a few mile out."

Ashley nodded before looking around at the people who remained, "Tali, Liara, Garrus, you'll come with me. Everyone else, Dr. Chakwas is in charge. If we find injured people we'll bring them back with us. We're going to have to make sure we're prepared to take them ok?"

"I would like to accompany you. I can help," EDI said, stepping forward.

Ashley thought about it a moment before nodding, "Alright. You'll ride with Tali and I. Garrus and Liara will ride with James." Cortez and James stopped ten feet away from them in the shuttles. Liara looked to Ashley and smirked a little. Ash saw her smirked and raised an eyebrow, "What?"

"You really took charge there," she said, shrugging a little, "It's impressive and just what these people needed."

"It's what the Commander would have done," she replied. She looked around at the refugees and the crew as they gathered around Chakwas to get their orders. "She's what these people needed."

Liara nodded, but said nothing before climbing into the shuttle. When they were all in, the boys took off before the doors even closed. She sat down on the other side of the shuttle from Garrus and looked up at him. He stared at the floor.

"You alright?" she asked, concerned for her friend.

He glanced at her and nodded once before looking toward the floor again. She decided to drop it for now. He would talk when he was ready.

* * *

"What the hell is going on here?" James said as they neared the site of the smoke. There was a shuttle ablaze in the center of a large clearing. The fire spread a good distance around the shuttle. Around the edges of the clearing there were a few large piles of brush, also ablaze. "I'm not getting any closer than this," James called to them, stopping a good distance from the fire. "There are our only two shuttles we have."

"This is close enough," Liara called back to him, opening the shuttle door. Cortez pulled up alongside James and stopped. Liara and Garrus jumped out, James right behind them. "Ash?" she called.

Ashley and Tali walked around from the other side of the shuttle, "Looks like another refugee shuttle."

"Hey!" Someone called to them from a distance. They all looked over to see Dr. Michel running toward them. "We didn't know anyone else was on this planet."

Tali smiled at her, "Dr. Michel. It is good to see you…alive." She glanced at the shuttle, "What happened?"

She reached them and tried to catch her breath, "Dr. Lucas, a few patients, and I escaped the Citadel before it closed. We landed here a few days ago." She took a few deep breaths before looking around at all of them, "It's good to see all of you again."

Ash nodded, "Yeah, we sorta crashed the Normandy here a few days ago."

"Well, when we landed here we realized we were going to be here awhile. We tried to make the best of it." She motioned to the piles of brush that burned bright around the edges of the clearing. "We started building huts, tried to make a home." She stopped and stared at the fire as it burned through everything they had done there. "Dr. Lucas and one of our patients went to map out the area this morning. You know, find water supplies, find a good place to start planting food, looking for wildlife. He did find something, but it wasn't what he expected." She nervously played with her fingers, "He found something that needed immediate attention, attention that we couldn't give it here. We tried to get the shuttle started to see if we could find someone else here, someone who could take care of it." She motioned to the shuttle, "But it blew up."

"Was anyone hurt?" Liara asked, looking around for any injured.

Michel shook her head, "We were fortunate. Dr. Lucas has a few small burns on his arms; he was the closest to the shuttle. Other than that, nothing beyond the injuries they had when we got here."

"I must ask, what did you find that was important enough to leave this place you had made for yourself? Is it something that will make living here more bearable for you? Or perhaps something that will return you to Earth?" EDI asked, cocking her head to the side a little as she spoke.

Michel looked a little uncomfortable, "Um…sort of." She glanced at Garrus, then looked back to Ash, "It's…sensitive cargo. Perhaps, you and I should go take a look.

"Sensitive cargo?" Liara asked, a little confused.

Ashley noticed the look Michel had given Garrus, "That's a good idea," she said quickly. "Tali, Liara and I will accompany you." She turned and looked to the others who were watching the other refugees walk across the clearing toward them. "Cortez and Garrus should help the refugees onto James' shuttle. Take them back to that Dr. Chakwas can get to work. She will be ready for you. Then come back here and take care of this fire before it spreads too much. We don't want to burn down this planet, we just got here."

"Yes Ma'am," James said before starting off in the direction of the refugees. "Gotta love a woman who can give orders," he smirked, glancing at Garrus and Cortez.

They both shot each other a look before shaking their heads and following him.

When the boys were a good distance away, Ashley turned to EDI, "Stay here and get the second shuttle ready, just in case we have to leave in a hurry."

EDI nodded, "Yes Ma'am."

Michel nodded a 'thank you' to Ashley, who nodded in reply. The four of them started off in the opposite direction. She reached the edge of the clearing and pushed past some brush, heading into the wooded area.

"While they were out, Dr. Lucas and our patient found the remains of the Citadel. It crashed here on this planet. They started digging through the remains, hoping to find something useful. They even hoped we could use some of the metal. What that found was…disturbing. There were dead bodies everyone. Dr. Lucas said it's not something you ever forget."

"Bodies of people who didn't escape the Citadel before the crash?" Ashley asked, pulling her pant leg free of some thorn bushes she had tried to step over.

Michel's face twisted in disgust, "No, we think they were killed in the war. The reapers were harvesting them on the Citadel."

Liara nodded, "Remember Anderson had said something about them taking the bodies up the beam he and…" she stopped.

"That's right," Ashley whispered, wishing she hadn't asked.

"We had planned to go back as some point to cremate them. It was the closest we could get to a proper burial for so many people." She glanced back where they came, "That wasn't supposed to happen today though." She stopped next to a tree and turned to them. "They wanted to keep searching, but not near the bodies. They walked a good distance away from them. He swears he heard someone moan but…I don't know if that's true. He and the patient picked it up and brought it here."

She moved some brush back and the three women's eyes opened wide as they look down at what laid on the ground before them.

"Goddess," Liara gasped, placing her hands over her mouth, tears filling her eyes and rolling down her cheeks.

Ashley trembled slightly, but tried to stay strong for the other two. Laying on the ground before them, next to a small pond of water was the woman who was willing to sacrifice herself to save the galaxy…Commander Shepard.

* * *

_**Closing Notes: This is my first time writing a Mass Effect fic. Like I said, I will try to keep it true to the story, but it may slip into a bit of AU from time to time. I'm so excited for this story, I have so much planned. So stick around and enjoy.**_


	2. Death Knocks Three Times

_**AN: Hope everyone is enjoying the story so far. Don't forget to let me know what you think. I like all feedback, good or bad. **_

_**Disclaimer: Again, I own nothing.**_

* * *

Flashback

Shepard walked in the cockpit, the door closing behind her. She glanced over her shoulder at it and shook her head. The old Normandy didn't have a door there. It was just one more little reminder that this wasn't her home. She walked over and sat in the co-pilot's seat next to one of the only things on this ship that was familiar to her, Joker.

"Commander, shouldn't you be sleeping?" Joker asked, glancing over at her, "I mean, it's been kind of a rough day for you."

Shepard stared out the window into black space, "I was dead for two years…I think I've slept enough."

He chuckled a little, "Good point. I've been meaning to ask you though, what was it like being dead? Were you like sitting on a cloud, discussing philosophy with the great minds of the past over a giant bowl of spaghetti?"

Shepard shook her head, snapping out of some sort of daze she was in, and looked over at him a little confused.

"Spaghetti?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

He shrugged a little, "Why not? If you're wearing a white robe that can never be stained, enjoy a giant bowl of spaghetti."

She laughed and shook her head, feeling a little more at ease now, "No, it was nothing like that."

He looked at her again, his smile gone now, "So…what…what was it like?"

She leaned her head back in the chair, staring out the window again. She was silent for a moment while she thought about how to put it into words.

"It was like a movie I guess," she said, finding it difficult to explain, "Flashes of my life going by over and over again. I felt like…I was waiting for something. Something big was going to happen. There was…something more…but…I had to wait for it." She looked at him, "Sorry, it's hard to explain."

He sighed a little, a look of relief now plastered on his face, "That's ok, it's just nice knowing that when it's over…it's not really over."

She smiled a little and leaned back in her chair again, "Glad I could help."

There was silence for a moment before Joker spoke again, "So, what brings you up here anyway?"

"You and Dr. Chakwas are the only things on this ship that haven't changed," she smirked a little, "And she's asleep, so I guess you'll have to do."

"Ah, I always find myself in second place," he laughed, throwing her a look.

She turned her chair to face him, "We talked about the old team," she said, deciding to get to the point, "I know it would be hard to find them, but I can't see doing this mission without them. I guess I wanted your opinion."

He was silent for a moment, focusing on the ship's controls, "Say the word Commander. Cerberus may have paid for this ship and threw a boat load of credits my way, but I still work for you."

She could tell by the look on his face and the tone in his voice that he didn't like the idea, but he wasn't going to say it. She sighed a little.

"What do you really think?"

He paused again, trying to find the right words but they were very difficult to say.

"They had to watch you die, we all did. I know the feeling of seeing you alive again, it's incredible. I never thought, I mean," he stopped, the words were lost to him. "While I was working for you, I did some of the most amazing things anyone has ever done." He turned his chair to look at her now, "The chances of you living through this one…" he stopped again and the look in his eyes told her that he couldn't say the words, "Well, I think it's best if I'm the only person who has to live through your death twice."

It hurt her to hear him say that, she wanted so badly for him to justify her going and looking for her old crew. She knew he was right though. The room started feeling a little down and when you just came back from the dead, the last thing you want is depression so Shepard decided to lighten the mood.

"Twice?" she asked, raising an eyebrow, "So you're saying I'm going to die but you're going to live?"

Joker laughed a little, obviously relieved, "Exactly, I'm a lovable guy with a horrible disease who's had it bad already. At the end of this story, you'll die and I'll walk dramatically off this ship into the sunset with a beautiful woman on my arm."

"The likelihood of that is slim Jeff. Dr. Chakwas tells me you rarely leave the ship. The odds you will find a woman, let alone a beautiful one, are rather slim," EDI stated, causing Shepard to fold over as she laughed so hard she could hardly breathe.

* * *

Present

EDI glanced behind her from the driver seat of the shuttle, checking on her friends. On the floor of the shuttle sat Liara with Shepard lying on the floor beside her, her head resting on her lap to prevent it from moving around too much. The women had removed what little was left of her armor before they loaded her into the shuttle. Her clothes torn, her body littered with lacerations and patches of burnt flesh, the women sat in the seats around her feeling both stunned and helpless. The only hope they had was the small rise and fall of Shepard's chest as she took shallow breaths.

"For her to have lived through that," Liara started, breaking the long silence they had since they discovered her, "It's just amazing."

"She has always defied the odds, I guess we shouldn't be so surprised," Tali said, her voice a little shaky. She forced a laugh, "And Garrus says he's hard to kill. He's got nothing on her."

Liara forced a laugh now too, "She is very stubborn. Guess she was not ready yet and death was not having his way."

Ashley looked between them, a little annoyed, "Glad you're both able to joke about this," she snapped.

Both women looked at her, their smiles fading. They both hung their heads, saying nothing more. Dr. Michele looked between them, then to Ashley.

"This is a difficult time Ashley. Everyone has their own way of handling things," she said calmly.

Ashley shot her a dirty look, "She's going to die Doctor, and you think it's appropriate to be making jokes?" Both Tali and Liara tensed at this comment, not only did they not want to hear those words but they both felt a twinge of guilt for their jokes. "We still have to figure out what we're going to do."

"What do you mean?" Liara asked quickly, her head snapping up to look at Ashley, "We have to take her to Dr. Chakwas so she can treat her."

"Treat her?" Ashely asked in disbelief, "Look at her," she motioned to the wounds on her body, "Treat her how? What are the odds she's going to live through this?"

"What were the odds she would live through the Citadel crash?" Tali retorted, a hint of anger in her voice.

"Tali," Liara said softly, trying to calm her friend down, "Ash, we just got her back. We are not ready to give up on her yet, we need to stay positive."

"Positive?" Ash asked, looking at them both as if they had both just lost their minds, "Why, because everything that's happened so far has given us a reason to be positive?"

"We are alive Ashley, on a strange planet yes…but alive nonetheless. We have aided many people who have found themselves in our situation," EDI stated, glancing over her shoulder again, "We have also found the remains of those who were less fortunate than ourselves. I believe everything has been fairly positive so far."

Liara nodded her head before shooting Ashley a look, "All of that and we found Shepard alive, that is reason enough to be positive."

Ashley sighed, realizing there was no way of winning this one. She leaned back in her seat, giving up. The women all smiled at each other.

"Then it is agreed, we will do all we can to save her," Tali said, crossing her arms.

"Think of what a morale booster this will be for everyone," Liara said, carefully running her fingers through Shepard's ebony hair.

"No!" Ashley shouted, sitting upright in her seat. Her outburst startled everyone in the shuttle, including EDI who veered to the right and nearly hit a tree. She looked at the confused faces of the women around her, "I'm sorry, but no," she said sternly. "This whole thing Liara, all of it is nuts. We are just now settling in; throwing Shepard into the mix…" she stopped and shook her head, "Think about it, if she doesn't make it, it would be devastating. We would be taking a giant step back." The women thought about this for a minute, "If we don't tell them and she lives, they'll be angry at us for not telling them sooner. I can live with that. I would rather not tell them, so if she doesn't live, it will only be a handful of us who will mourn her death again."

There was silence for a moment before Liara asked the question they all wanted to know, "What about Garrus?"

Ashley shook her head, "He's lost her twice. I don't think he can handle a third." She glanced over her shoulder at EDI, "You can't tell Joker either. He won't be able to keep it from Garrus."

EDI nodded, but said nothing.

* * *

Dr. Chakwas stood over Shepard who lay in the bed in her quarters. Once they arrived she was all business. They hurried her off to her quarters, the one place nobody had gone since they arrived on the planet, stripped her clothes and laid her in her bed. Dr. Chakwas studied the extent of her injuries and started to treat them the best she could. Now a blanket covered her beaten body, her head rested on a pillow, and the only people who knew of her arrival stood by and watched her. While she took care of Shepard upon her arrival like an expert, now the shock of the situation finally hit her.

"So, she was just lying in the wreckage?" she asked, not moving her eyes from the sleeping Shepard's face.

Dr. Lucas stood on the opposite side of the bed and nodded, "Yes, she was barely alive. I couldn't just leave her there," the salarian said. He looked up and down the body of Commander Shepard. It was obvious he was going over in his head what would be the best course of action. He looked just like any other Salarian, with dark blue skin and a white fade around his eyes and down to his mouth. He was well respected on the Citadel and in his practices on his home planet. "You do realize that the treatment she requires will take many of our resources. There is also no guarantee she will survive."

"We are stranded on an uninhabited planet, our supplies are limited and we have come to accept that. We will have to learn to live without Medi gel eventually," Dr. Chakwas stated, never taking her eyes off of Shepard.

Dr. Lucas nodded, leaving it alone for now. He didn't want to anger Dr. Chakwas.

"The others will be back soon. They'll get suspicious if we're all hanging out in here," Ashley said, looking around at the other women. "Let's get out of here."

As the other's turned and started for the door, Liara didn't budge. She stood over Shepard's body, running her fingers through the hair of her best friend.

Dr. Chakwas turned around and looked at her, feeling sympathy for her, "You know, someone needs to stay with her. We can't leave her alone."

Liara looked up at her and smiled, "I will look out for her."

* * *

Garrus and James finished putting out the fire with the help of a few of the healthier refugees. Most of them were too injured or sick to aid them. They set off to the side along the tree line where they would be safe. All they had left to do was salvage what they could and wait for Cortez to come back with the shuttle.

"I thought that was you," a woman's voice said from somewhere behind them. Both men turned around to see a sight that James was unfamiliar with, a female turian. She stood just inches shorter than Garrus, with a slender build. The fringe on the top of her head didn't stand up like a male turian's, it was shorter and laid against her head much like an asari's. Her skin was a darker red with white under her eyes and through her fringe. "Don't tell me you don't remember me."

James eyes lit up, "I don't remember you, but I'd sure like to get to know you."

"Back off human, I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to him," she motioned to Garrus. "Aren't you going to say hello Vakarian, or did I not leave a big enough impression on you?"

Garrus tensed up a little, "Nia, it's been a long time."

"Sure has," she walked over and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him.

Garrus patted her on the back, but did not embrace her. He gave James a sort of, get me out of here look.

James saw the look and smirked, "Looks like some people over there need my help. I'll catch up with you two later."

He left them alone and made his way across the field. Garrus shook his head as thoughts of revenge filled his mind.

Nia let him go and took a step back, "I've heard stories about you," she said, crossing her arms. "You've been in the front line of this war since the very beginning."

"The war is over," Garrus said, not looking at her, "But yes. I was there when the war with the Reapers began."

"That's an adventure I wish I could have been part of," she said, playing with the collar on his shirt, "But then we'd probably find ourselves in the same situation we were in when we fought together the last time."

Garrus gently pushed her hand away, "I don't think things would have worked out the same."

"Nia," a female asari called to her, running up to her. She stood beside her, looking suspiciously at Garrus, "Am I interrupting?"

Nia shook her head, "No, just catching up with an old friend. Garrus this is Shukura. She's my bondmate." She looked down at the asari, "We were just finishing up. I'll meet up with you in a minute."

Shukura nodded and started back toward the others.

"An asari?" he asked, tilting his head a little, "That's…unlike you."

"You're one to talk. A human?" she asked, crossing her arms. Garrus winced a little, but tried not to show it. "Though I have to give you credit, you picked a good one, not only a human, but the woman who saved the entire galaxy." She shook her head, seemingly mocking him, "How did you get her anyway? She could have anyone in the entire galaxy and she chose you." She patted him on the arm, "Good job."

She walked away from him without another word. He watched her for a moment before James showed up beside him.

"So who was she?" he asked, watching her now too.

"We um…we used to…we were…" Garrus replied, trying to find the words.

"You slept with here didn't you?" James smirked.

Garrus glanced at him, "We blew off some steam that's all." He turned and started walking off toward where Cortez had just parked the shuttle.

* * *

_**A/N: Hmm…things are getting a bit…erm…interesting huh? Let me know what you think.**_


	3. Take My Hand Part 1

_**AN:**__** So sorry for the delay everyone. I hope this chapter is worth the wait. **_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing! **_

* * *

A dark, quiet, vacant forest and a little boy…a little boy she had watched die as she left Earth behind. Running for him was like running through quick sand, no matter how hard she tried she couldn't catch up. He just got further and further away…she couldn't save him…she can't save any of them…

Shepard woke from her nightmare, covering her face with her hands as she tried to keep herself together, she couldn't afford to fall apart. She could hear the squeak of her office chair and footsteps making their way to her bed, but she didn't look. She just laid there with her hands over her face, laid there lost in darkness.

"You're awake." Garrus' voice broke through the darkness and she slowly moved her hands. He was standing over her, the look in his eyes showed his concern. She couldn't help but smile a little at him, he was what she needed. She slowly sat up, hugging her knees to her chest and he sat down in front of her, "I was starting to worry."

"Not that I'm complaining," she started, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, "but what are you doing here?"

"I called for him," EDI's voice came over the speaker, "You seemed restless as you slept and I was concerned for your wellbeing. Given your current state of dress and your past sexual experiences with Garrus, I calculated that he was best suited to check on you."

Shepard looked down at her t-shirt and panties and bit her lip, "EDI…I…um…" she reached over and pulled the blanket over her lap, "Thanks…I guess."

"You are welcome Shepard."

Garrus laughed a little, "I'm glad she called me, you were tossing a little in your sleep. You even mumbled a few times. That and…well…I kind of like your current state of dress," he teased, looking over her. She laughed a little, but it was obvious she was distracted. "How long have you been having nightmares?"

Shepard looked toward the fish tank, "Since we left Earth," she confessed.

He reached over and softly placed a hand on her leg, "Why didn't you tell me? I could have helped."

She smirked a little, still not looking at him, "How?"

He shrugged a little, "I know you better than anyone on this ship. I could have figured something out."

She looked at him now and smiled, "Garrus…"

"I have been with you since this whole thing started," he said, cutting her off before she could finish her sentence, "Every time you show up on my doorstep I drop everything I'm doing and I follow you to places in the galaxy some people would think is a myth. I'm here to keep you safe and…"

"Garrus," she interrupted, gently placing a hand on the side of his face, "You can't protect me from everything."

He shook his head and softly took her hand in his, "When we destroyed the Collector Base, the platform I was standing on collapsed and I nearly fell to my death. You followed me down and at the last second you grabbed my hand. You saved my life Shepard…you caught me." She stared in his eyes as he spoke, taking in every word, remembering the moment when she nearly lost him. He squeezed her hand, reaching up with the other and placing it on her cheek, "Shepard," he whispered, looking in her eyes, "Take my hand now…but this time…" he slowly leaned in and she eagerly followed his lead, letting her eyes close and forgetting everything in the galaxy except the two of them. His lips brushed hers as he spoke, "…let me catch you."

* * *

"You are not listening!" Dr. Lucas screamed, standing on one side of Shepard's bed.

"I am listening to you and my answer is still the same," Dr. Chakwas snapped, trying to keep her voice down as she stood on the opposite side of the bed.

"No, you are hearing. Hearing is the sense by which noises and tones are received as stimuli, meaning are aware that I am speaking. I need you to l-i-s-t-e-n, which is the act of paying attention to what you are hearing. Which you are not!" he screamed, throwing his hands in the air.

Liara stormed into the room carrying a glass of water and quickly made her way to Shepard's side, "What is going on in here? I left for fifteen minutes and you are making enough noise I could hear you in the elevator," she scolded.

Dr. Lucas sighed and motioned to Dr. Chakwas, "Please tell your beloved doctor that we cannot keep treating Shepard. It has been a week and she hasn't shown any improvement."

"What? So you just want to give up?" Liara asked, looking between them, "We cannot do that."

"We have to. I tried to warn you when you brought her here. We are using too many resources trying to keep her alive," Dr. Lucas insisted, "We cannot keep this up. We will not have the resources to care for ourselves," he stated, starting to raise his voice again.

Liara put a hand up, "Please Dr. Lucas, keep your voice down."

"Need I remind you," Dr. Chakwas chimed in, "This woman is the reason any of us are even here."

Dr. Lucas' patience was wearing thin and he struggled to keep his cool, "This is not about personal feelings doctor. Every living being owes their lives to this woman I understand that…but that doesn't change the facts. Should we gamble like this? We could use up all our resources and she could die anyway, meanwhile we have to turn down a group of people we could have saved because we spent our resources on her."

"What if we stop treating her and she dies…but nobody comes along and needs those resources. We are going to be here a long time doctor; we are going to have to figure out something else eventually anyway."

He shook his head, "You are grasping at straws doctor. You know I am right."

There was silence for a moment as everyone weighed their options, finally Chakwas spoke, "Give it just a few more days," she said reluctantly. Liara's head shot up, a look of disbelief on her face, "If there's no change…we….we will stop the treatments."

Liara shook her head, tears forming in the corners of her eyes, "No," she whispered.

Chakwas looked to her, "I'm sorry Liara. He's right…and…Shepard wouldn't want this. She would give her life all over again to save us. We can't hold on to a ghost."

"I'm glad you finally see reason," Lucas said, calming down now, "It's not an easy decision I know." He grabbed his data pad from the side table, "We have more patients to attend to Chakwas, if you are up for it."

Chakwas nodded and quickly made her way to the door, relieved to have something to do to take her mind off of this. Lucas followed after her without another word.

After they were gone Liara looked down at Shepard, "There are a lot of people here who need you Shepard," she said, dipping her fingers in the water and dabbing Shepard's lips to moisten them, "You have defied the odds before and I know it is a lot to ask, but…please come back to us."

* * *

EDI knelt down beside the lake and watched the little waves in the water. Slowly she reached down and dipped the tips of her fingers in the water. She quickly pulled her hand away and giggled a little before dipping her fingers into the water again.

"What are you doing?" Joker asked, slowly walking up behind her.

EDI looked up at him and smiled, "I am touching the water," she shook her head, "No, that is not accurate…I am feeling the water."

Joker smiled and very carefully sat down beside her, "You're enjoying this aren't you?"

EDI nodded and reached down, touching the water again, "Shepard gave this to me. She gave me the ability to feel this water Jeff. I know it is cold not because I am a machine, I know it is cold because my fingers are cold." She looked at him, "I am sure this sounds crazy to you. You have been able to do this all your life."

Joker shook his head, "No, I find it cute actually." EDI smiled and scooted closer to him, leaning on him. "I love the look on your face every time you experience something new."

EDI laughed a little, "I love you Jeff. That is my favorite emotion."

"I love you EDI…that's my favorite emotion too." He kissed the top of her head, "Remember though, not all feelings are good. I promise though, if you're sad, or scared, or hurting at all. I will be here to help you through it."

EDI closed her eyes and enjoyed her time there with him next to the lake in silence. Just feeling him hold her, feeling his love for her. After a while she opened her eyes and sat up, looking at him. Joker turned to her.

"I do have a question Jeff," she said, placing a hand on her stomach.

Joker nodded, "Tell me, I'll try to help."

She looked over the lake as she tried to explain it, "I have this feeling in my stomach…it is…not a good feeling."

"Can you explain it?" he asked, rubbing her back.

"It is…worried…angry…and…conflicted," she looked at him for the answer.

He shook his head, "I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific than that EDI…I don't know if I understand."

"I can present an example. I am keeping a secret from you and the others. I do not want to and I do not believe it is right. It is causing a mix of emotion inside of me I do not understand."

Joker removed his hand from her back, "You're keeping a secret from the people you care about and who care about you. You're feeling guilty about it." He curiously tilted his head, "We love each other, and we shouldn't keep secrets."

EDI nodded, "But I am friends with Liara, Tali, and Ashley. They asked me to keep the secret. What is the right thing to do?"

Joker sighed, "Well, that's a tough one. They are your friends. You should do what you think is right. I won't ask you to choose between me and your friends. You can trust me though, and if this is bothering you, you can tell me."

She thought about it a moment, "If you thought I died…but someone found me alive…would you want to know?"

"Absolutely," he said quickly, "Without a doubt."

"What if I was barely alive…and they did not think I would make it. Would you still want to know?"

Joker took her hand in his, "Even if all I could do was say goodbye…I would want to know so that I could see you one last time."

EDI smiled at him, "Then…I have something I must tell you."

**A/N: This is part 1 of this chapter. It's not complete, but I felt you guys deserved an update. :)**


	4. Take My Hand Part 2

_**A/N: This is the second half to the last chapter. Also, I know I took a long break, but I wanted to play all of the DLC so I could have the entire story and I have done so, I have even played The Citadel. It's…awesome… Anyway, you can expect an update at least once a month for one or both of my fics. Also, I'm going to do a new one you might be interested in if you're a FShep/Kaidan fan. **_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**_

* * *

"…let me catch you."

As she waited for his lips to touch hers, she realized just how much she needed this…how much she needed him. There was a war going on but the only thing that mattered to her at that moment was him.

"Garrus," she whispered, the words escaping before she could stop them, "I lo…"

"Commander Shepard," EDI's voice came over the speaker. Both Garrus and Shepard moved away from each other, looking to the speaker. "I am sorry to interrupt. I have a few questions about dreams but Jeff laughs every time I attempt to ask him. Would you meet me in the cockpit so we can discuss this concept of dreams?"

Shepard shook her head. All of this was so ridiculous she could barely believe it. Garrus couldn't help but laugh just a little.

"I'll be right there EDI."

"Thank you Shepard."

"And Garrus?" Joker's voice came over the speaker.

"Yes Joker?" Garrus asked, a hint of annoyance in his tone.

"Sorry if we totally just comm blocked you."

There was an awkward silence and Garrus nervously rubbed the back of his neck, "Yeah…that's not embarrassing."

Shepard chuckled a little, "What would we do without Joker?"

Garrus chuckled now too, "Right, no need for children we already have one."

"And he's already potty trained…well…mostly." They both shared a laugh at this before things started to get quiet again. "I guess I should go answer her emergency questions."

Slowly and reluctantly Garrus got to his feet, "I have some calibrations I need to do anyway. We can catch up later." He made his way to the door, stopping when he got to the top of the stairs and turning to her, "Was there something you wanted to say?"

The commander quickly looked away from him, picking up a book on her nightstand and pretending to be interested in it, "Um…no…I don't think so."

He looked disappointed, "Alright, I just thought you were saying something before EDI interrupted."

She set the book down and looked at him, "I don't remember. It…it must not have been important," she lied, rubbing the back of her neck.

"Right," the tone in his voice lowered, it was obvious he had expected something, "Well if you remember…you know where to find me."

He reached the door and hit the switch to open it, turning around to look at her one last time before leaving.

Shepard sighed and laid back on the bed.

* * *

"Just let me know if you change your mind. It is just a friendly offer and doesn't have to mean anything you don't want it to," Dr. Michel said, offering Garrus a small smile before walking away from him.

Garrus tried to look appreciative as he nodded, "Thank you."

He didn't look at her as she walked away, just finished setting up the targets. A few of the patient's in Dr. Michel's party were feeling better and suggested setting up a shooting range. This would not only provide entertainment for the people stranded there, but it would also provide weapons training so they could go out and hunt the different species on the planet as another source of food. So Garrus and James found a good spot just along the forest's edge a mile from camp.

"What was that all about?" James asked as he approached his turain friend with some more chunks of wood to use for targets.

Garrus took the wood from him and set it up on the stands, "It was nothing," he answered, taking a few steps back to look at their work. "I was thinking we could hang some logs from ropes and swing them from a tree so they can practice on some moving targets. Thoughts?"

James smirked and leaned on one of the stands, "She was trying to pick you up wasn't she?" he teased, "What is it with you, first the turian woman…what was her name…Nia? Now the doctor. You have got to teach me your tricks…we're friends right?"

"Vega," Garrus said, his voice threatening.

"I know what it is, it's that casual dress you've got going on now. You're not always dressed up in armor and the girls can finally see your figure." He looked him over a little, "I guess…it's a good figure by turian standards right?"

Garrus looked down at his casual clothes. Liara had mentioned that wearing his armor constantly was a bad idea. They would have no way of patching it if it was damaged and it was better to save it in case he needed it for a real fight.

"I have an idea," he said, lifting his head and looking to James, "How about you walk back and forth holding a log and you be the moving target," he suggested, looking pretty satisfied with the idea.

James waved his hands defensively, "Hey, I'm just saying, you are one irresistible turian my friend."

Garrus laughed a little and shook his head, "I don't know about that." He realized he would never get any peace if he didn't tell him, so he caved. "She wanted to go out…like a picnic by the lake," he confessed, "To get my mind off things."

A large grin spread across James' face and he crossed his arms, "And what did you say?" he asked, very interested now.

He shook his head, "I told her thank you, but I would have to pass. I'm not ready for that…I'm not ready to move on."

James' smile faded and he nodded, "I get that." He walked over and picked up at few logs, "Let's get that moving target set up," he suggested, motioning to some rope laying a few feet from where Garrus stood. He started up the small hill to a large tree. Garrus grabbed the rope and followed him. "How are you feeling anyway?" he asked as he dropped the logs near the tree.

Garrus shook his head, "It's…hard to explain."

James held out a hand for Garrus to toss him the rope, "Try."

"I'd rather not," he answered, tossing him the rope.

James tied one end of the rope to a rock and threw it up over a branch about ten feet above him, "Then can I ask you something?"

Garrus crossed his arms, "You're going to anyway."

"Probably," he tied the other end of the rope tight around a log, "But asking you first kind of makes you have to answer me." He grabbed the other end of the rope and hoisted the log up a few feet off the ground. He walked the rope over and tied it to the trunk of the tree. "I miss Lola too…hell…we all do." He clapped his hands together to knock the dirt off, "We're all mourning her, but we have to keep going." Garrus looked away from him, not saying a word. "I'm not saying you need to go run off with someone new but…don't turn away every friendly invitation." He walked over and sat on the ground next to where he stood, "Wouldn't Shepard want you to be happy?"

Garrus chuckled a little, "That was surprisingly insightful."

James shrugged, "Yeah well, I get it right sometimes. A least…I can't be wrong all the time."

"Yeah." The boys laughed for a moment, but it didn't last long. There was a long silence before Garrus spoke again, staring off into the distance as he did. "I took Shepard to the top of the Presidium…I always wanted to go there. I couldn't enjoy the view overlooking the Citadel though…because I was distracted by the view standing next to me. A woman I see every day, but can never manage to get enough of. Not to mention the turning in my stomach as I thought about what I was about to do." James leaned back on his arms looking up at Garrus as he spoke. He smiled a little as he listened to him, he rarely spoke of Shepard and how he felt about her. He felt like he was being let in on some little secret. "I knew Shepard needed time to think about us…with the war going on and her home world under attack…I didn't think we were an option. She had a lot on her plate…a lot more important than an ex C-Sec officer. I asked her where she stood on us," his eyes lit up as he remembered that moment, "She grabbed my armor, looked me in the eyes, and told me she loved me. Me…Vega…" He said the last words with disbelief.

James chuckled a little, "Sounds like Shepard, forward and direct."

Garrus' tone changed to an intense sadness and regret, "I was so surprised…I…I didn't know what to do. I was worried that I'd mess it up. I wasn't sure what to say, I didn't know what to do…" he shifted a little, the light in his eyes disappeared and was replaced by pain. He stared down at the ground, "I didn't say it back Vega…I never told Shepard I loved her…" He looked down at him, "I can't change that."

James' looked up at him, "So…no one else…should get to hear the words she didn't get to hear?"

The words didn't come easy, he was shocked. He never expected that from him and he didn't know what he could say to make it better, or if there was anything that could be said. James looked down at the ground, unable to look at Garrus anymore. For the first time, he could feel the pain Garrus was feeling and he knew it was greater than anyone else. Garrus didn't just lose a friend, a lover, when he lost her he lost a piece of himself.

"Sometimes you get it right," he said softly before walking away, leaving him there to think.

* * *

"I don't get you." Garrus sighed and set his drink down when he heard Nia's voice. After his talk with James he'd gone to the bar in the lounge to have a few drinks and forget. Apparently he wasn't going to get any private time. He turned to get up from the stool, but Nia sat down beside him, pouring herself a drink. "Come on now, don't go. I wanted to talk." Garrus sighed and turned back in his seat, picking up the drink and downing it. "As I was saying, I don't get you. It's not like you to let a woman get to you in the middle of a war."

"I don't want to talk about Shepard," he sighed, pouring himself another drink.

"Oh, but I do," Nia grinned, "I want to talk about her a lot. Like how you managed to get her? I mentioned it early but we didn't get to talk about it. How did a woman like that fall for a man…a turian…like you?"

She took a drink and set the glass down, waiting for his answer. He thought about it a moment before answering.

"I ask myself that all the time." He pushed the glass away, "I have some calibrations to do. Enjoy the rest of your drink." He turned and stood up, but she grabbed his arm and stopped him.

He turned and looked to her, "Well, in case you get lonely…there is another woman…a turian…who is pretty remarkable and into you. She can make the pain go away."

He pulled his arm away, "Good night Nia."

He turned to leave, but stopped when he saw Joker standing in the doorway. He was obviously upset and a little shaken.

"I…need to talk to you Garrus."

* * *

"So how will this work?" Liara asked, her voice shaking.

She had her arms wrapped tightly around herself as she stood next to Shepard's bed. She'd been crying.

"We take her off the machines. It'll be only a few minutes then she'll slip away," Lucas answered casually, examining the machines.

"This feels wrong…like we are killing her," Tali said quickly, nervously rubbing her arms.

"Can we stay with her?" Liara asked, gently taking Shepard's hand, "I do not want her to be alone."

"Of course, I don't see why that would be a problem," Lucas answered quickly. "Is everyone ready?"

"Her boyfriend isn't," Garrus' voice came from the door. There were a few gasps and everyone's head turned in his direction.

Joker nervously rubbed his arm, "Sorry…I had to tell him.

* * *

_**AN: Still not the end of this chapter, but you all deserved an update. **_


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